I had to check when it was that I posted last. It’s supposed to be twice a month but it appears I haven’t posted since April. I’ve fallen a little behind on my tasks this month.

On my health and fitness front, well I don’t want to jinx it, but if you’ve been following my Instagram you would know that I’m documenting everything daily anyway. Today will be day 15/100 of the Morning Meltdown 100 on Beachbody on Demand. It’s still a bit of a struggle and fight to get to the workout, but it just speeds by while I’m doing it and I’m always happy when it’s done.

My knees are posing a bit of a problem when it comes to doing any floor work, but I did some research and have found an alternative. I’ve been trying to modify the modifiers in the program but it just wasn’t working. I’m hoping this solution, that I found on a yoga site will help. If I can’t find an alternative soon I’m going to be horribly uneven, where the front of my legs will be strong, but my back will be super weak.

It’s in those moments when I can’t do the exercise because my knees hurt too much that makes me want to quit. There are a lot of squats and variations of squats and of course lunges and that can be extremely difficult as well. I find myself in a great deal of discomfort when trying to keep the pace. So I do probably half the amount of reps because of it. This all makes me want to stop because the negative self-talk roles in and the feelings of uselessness and failure runs through my mind.

It’s said that it can take up to six weeks to develop healthy habits, it’s been two. It’s also said that for every bad thing said to you, it takes at least twenty good to erase the damage. That includes what we say to ourselves. It can be a hard habit to break, everyone does it. We achieve a goal but instead of celebrating it, we say things like, “It’s not that big of deal, I’m sure others have done better.” “I could have finished faster if I just tried harder.”

Why do we do this? My guess is because most of our lives, and I’m speaking from a woman’s viewpoint, we are told that if we boast about our success’s we are arrogant, if we fight for what we want, we’re bitches. So most women don’t celebrate the greatness that not only what they achieved but of the greatness of who they are. They let others tell us who we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to see ourselves.

Not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not fit enough, not talented enough. These are the words that run through my mind almost every day. These are the negative words that I struggle to replace with “I am pretty, sexy, smart, funny, and talented.” Yes, I know I left out skinny and fit. I am neither of those, but it’s not negative talk. It’s just a plain fact and its okay because I’m working on getting to a better me. And truly that’s all that matters.

I’m going to end it here for today. There isn’t much to discuss on the writing front. The Meredith short story is running through its final edits and will be released to subscribers of my newsletter in November 2021. Darkness Looms will be going to beta’s in July, 2021 and will be going on pre-order around November, its release date set for March of 2022.

So that is it, that is all I have, all she wrote, I now have to go do day 15 of mm100!

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Love Always, and Follow your Bliss.

Feeling my age today. Actually been feeling my age for quite some time now. It used to be because I couldn’t move and my joints hurt because I didn’t work out and take care of myself. Now, I can’t move because my muscles hurt from working out and not stretching properly. Go figure. I remember when I was 25 I could hike 13kms with forty pounds on my back and not even bat an eye. Not to mention the next day all I would have to contend with were a few blisters from poorly tied boots!

Now, I yawn and throw my back out! I thought I was being careful, not pushing myself too hard, doing all the right stability exercises to protect my knees. And you know what? I was! The problem is I completely ignored the rest of the muscles in my body. A couple sessions of my Turbo Jam and my whole right side seized right up!

Today is no better which means I have to go back to walking until my neck and shoulder start to feel better.

Yay, what fun that will be...

After speaking with a friend who is a guru at writing short stories I discovered that I may be going about my short story, Meredith, the wrong way. I was going to do a flashback, but turns out, not such a great idea, it would be much better to follow her through from the start. It hasn’t set me back much, but I did discover some inconsistencies between this short story and the corresponding books to follow it.

I had to do a little noodling with the facts, dates, and events. And I think I got it all sorted. The short story is set to debut in November during a book party, then its counterparts The Young Chronicles Trilogy is being released throughout 2022.

I have my editor date on May 3rd, I’m about 7k words into a 10-15k story. It shouldn’t be a problem, but knowing me and my procrastination skills, I will be writing right up to the last minute!

With May only a week away means that Christmas is fast approaching.

Before you start throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at me, let me explain!

Last Christmas I was still struggling with my depression. The idea of decorating, let alone creating was too much for me. The most that went up was the tree and Hubby was the one that took care of it. (He never helps with decorating so this is significant.)

Every year for as long as I can remember I create something for friends and family as gifts. Last year I couldn’t bring myself to do that either. Not one thing was created; I gave away no gifts to anyone. So this year I want to make sure I have gifts ready. I have several craft ideas and the supplies to put it all together.

All this takes time though. I have to meet shipping dates since some parcels will need to be delivered across Canada as well as in the States. This is why I am talking about Christmas in May! Okay, so put the garbage down now! I had a legitimate reason!

The last bit of exciting news for me is that I received my first vaccination. It will be a few months before I can get my booster, but in about a weeks’ time I will be 84% protected. What this means for me is finally after nearly 14 months of being locked down in my home, 14 months of not going into stores, 14 months of not seeing family, 14 months of no social gatherings of any kind, I will now be able to do some of these things. I will be able to walk through Walmart (wearing a mask still of course) but feel comfortable and not worry that I’m going to get sick.

This is huge for me. And it is definitely a step in the right direction with keeping my mental health strong.

I know that the vaccines are a hot topic for people, and I don’t want to start debates or fights. But what I will say is that it’s critical that we all get that shot in the arm. It’s not only to safe guard you from covid, but everyone around you. It’s been a long hard road, mentally and financially for so many people. Its frustrating that after all this time, after a year of shutdowns that we are still seeing shutdowns, that the government just can’t seem to get things right. I know everyone just wants to have barbeques, family gatherings, and parties with friends. But we aren’t there yet.

The more people refuse to get the vaccine the longer we will be faced with all of these insane shutdowns and restrictions. The longer face masks continue to be a debate about your personal freedoms being trod upon instead of seeing it as a health safe guard, is the longer we will be shutdown. More deaths will be seen, more super-bugs and variants created.

So, this is the last thing I will say and then I will sign off.

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Wear a Face Mask, Get Your Vaccination, Love Always, and Follow Your Bliss.