I want to start 2021 out strong!

At least that’s what I said to myself while lying in bed January 1st. We’re in day 12 now and I’m not sure I’ve started out with a bang. More like a little fluff. A silent poof in the wind. BUT, this doesn’t mean that the remaining 353 days can’t be bang worthy!

Let’s start with goals and themes. Goals and themes are better than resolutions in my opinion. Last year my goal was to complete several novels and publish three. I wanted to write a passion project and have it go out at the end of last year. My personal goals were to read more and broaden my horizon with new authors. Sadly, I didn’t reach those goals last year. I did finish two books and published two and I did explore a new author I hadn’t previously read. But overall it wasn’t what I had set out to do.

Now I can spend my time beating myself up over this, and frankly I have. But let’s look at the bigger picture for a moment, 2020 was a dumpster fire. Sure, some people thrived and achieved amazing things in their lives and some did not. I did not. I struggled, 2020 is a year that will go down in my history books as one of the worst of my life.

So I’m going to pick myself up, dust off and attack 2021! Although it hasn’t started out great, I will get there!

Goals and themes, you ask? Okay, my goals for this year are simple, be productive. I’ll be taking this year off from publishing any work. I’m going to concentrate on learning new things about writing and marketing. I will write five books this year including a short story/novella that will be available for subscribers to my newsletter.

This writing goal will be to write for at least one hour a day, every day. Seems simple enough, but when all you want to do is play plants vs zombies on your iPad, it can be hard to get going.

The marketing goal, I’m taking a few courses on learning the platforms I use to sell on to get more visibility to my work. Because let’s face it, if the reader (you) can’t find me, then you won’t know that I’ve written anything. This will also entail an exciting new project! I’ll be creating audio books for my work! Of course though I must first learn how to do that, find a narrator, and someone to edit. Just the little details to work out.

My theme for this year is the same as it always is, “I’m stronger than fear”. It seems simple, but you would be surprised how much fear holds us back. Even from the simplest of things. Fear is the silent killer of dreams and ambitions. I will not let fear win this year!

Lastly, my personal goals. Several days ago I posted on Instagram, day 1/100. I had worked out that day and wanted to mark it down. But that motivation quickly died the next day and I have not done anything since. I’m not certain what it is that keeps holding me back. Weight loss and being active is not a stranger to me. I’ve done both, I’ve succeeded at both.

To be perfectly honest with myself and with you, it’s fear. Fear of failure, fear of not living up to what I’m saying I’m going to do.

Stupid, right? How can I fear to fail if I never start, isn’t not starting failing? That is a good question and point. But I can’t fail if I don’t start so I don’t feed that fear.

This is my constant struggle and fight with myself about everything really. My inner monologue when I’m not meeting my daily goals. Perhaps a secondary theme is in order or just an amendment to the first, “Never let fear win, because I am stronger than fear”!

Yeah, I think I like that.

So a quick recap for 2021.
Goals:
-write for one hour everyday
-write five novels
-learn more about marketing and improving my visibility
 
Themes:
Never let fear win, for I am stronger than fear.
 
What are your goals and themes for 2021?

Follow your Bliss!
Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Love Always!

I have two choices today for this post, look at all of the accomplishments I’ve achieved this past year, or bum you all out with all the struggles of the past year.
I’m usually a glass is both half empty and half full kinda girl. I’m also someone who finds no logic in hiding how one is feeling, good or bad. So I think today I will talk about both, 2020 has been a mixed bag of both the good and bad, the excellent and horrific. So let’s crash forward, shall we?

I always want the bad news first. It makes the good news that much sweeter, so that is what we shall do. But do stick around, hang in there through the bad so that you may enjoy the good.

Okay, the ugly. I think the biggest is the obvious, the pandemic, no one thought it would ever be possible and certainly no one thought it would still be going on. The entire world thrown into chaos. It has sent all of us reeling and some are still unsure how or if they will recover.

The lock downs had a strange effect on me, you see working from home my routine wasn’t affected when things started locking down. I never went anywhere to begin with, but to be told that I couldn’t now if I wanted to. Well, suddenly I felt very confined and trapped. The thoughts that those I loved were in danger of getting sick, the singular thought that my Hubby would be exposed and I would lose him was more than I could wrap my brain around.

I was terrified every day. Then another fear of mine came to fruition. April 6, 2020 at 4:20pm my Ninja girl took her final breath in my arms. It was the worst moment in my life and although I knew I would feel her absence deeply, I never thought it would be like this. She was the catalyst that sent me spiralling out of control.

There were moments that I myself wanted to die, I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t function. It was a loss so deep so profound I never thought possible. I lost all joy in everything I did.

It took several months and the encouragement and love from my friends and family to get me to pick myself up and move forward. I’ve done my very best to do this, but I miss her every day, her loss has not become easier, it’s just easier to carry. This is the first Christmas in 19 years that she won’t be with us, and my heart is breaking all over again.