December, the Month of Christmas for many. It is for me, but it was supposed to be something else as well. It was supposed to be the month I was going to be back up on my feet and do my 5km races again! I’ve had a whole year to get things working right and this weekend I was to do the Santa Shuffle!
I’ve been collecting Virtual Race medals all year and was going to justify them with an actual race at the end. I was excited about it. I was looking forward to it.
But then the worst happened, after a number of missteps with trainers I ended up injuring my left knee. My right knee isn’t out of the woods just yet, but now my left knee has put me completely out of commission. I’m using a cane once again and not just for when I leave the house. NO, I have to use the cane in the house as well.
All I know is I was walking up my stairs and I felt a pull then a pop at the back of my knee and by the next day I could barely put weight on it. I’m waiting to get in for x-rays to find out what the real damage is, but the doctor believes it may be the bursa at the back of the knee.
So for about two months I have been out of commission for doing any physical work. I bought myself some weight-lifter bands for the knees, they are supposed to help stabilize the joint. I am still figuring out how to wrap my knees with them and then at least I will be on the move again.
This was supposed to be a light hearted tale of my clumsiness but it turned into a small rant and pity party. So I’ll tell you the tale I was originally going to tell.
So about two and a half months ago when I was still working with a trainer we were going to do some bench presses with the free weights. Not a big deal, done it before, nothing new. So we move over to where the benches are and pick one and he grabs the weights.
I proceed to lie back on this bench so that I’m flat on my back, but in order for my back to be completely flat I have to lift by feet off the floor. So I put them on the end of the bench. Normally this is fine.
Well as I’m getting into position I notice a slight wobble in the bench. Naturally to get my balance I stick my right leg out and both my arms to counter myself. Well my trainer wasn’t fully paying attention to the situation I was currently trying to get under control when he hands me a weight.
It was only ten pounds but it was enough that it threw my counter balance right off. Now my right leg is flailing in the air and I’m teetering to the right when he hands me the second weight which then pulls me to the left. But at this point I no longer have any balance the bench gives an unnerving wobble and in complete slow motion I watch as my feet fly over to the side and the weight in my hand pulls me right to the floor.
I land on my ass next to the bench. Now it was only a couple feet, if that, so no harm done. There was another guy next to me training and he’s laughing his ass off, I’m laughing telling him to stop and my trainer is mortified. Now I’m a big girl and getting up and down from the floor is a difficult task so my trainer and I do our best to ensure I don’t do exercises on the floor.
So it took me a couple minutes to get up, mostly because I can’t stop laughing over the absurdity of it all. But no matter how much I tried to make light of it, he just couldn’t crack a smile. It’s a shame really because I was certain the other guy was going to piss himself he was laughing so hard.
Once I had gotten up and dusted myself off I sat back on the bench and lay back again. My trainer hands me the weights as I’m putting my feet up. And within moments of being handed a weight I felt the bench teeter again, both legs shoot out this time in the air in an effort to work a better balancing system. I nearly farted with the exertion of preventing a second crash to the floor.
Trainer was paying closer attention and we were able to right the ship before I capsized again. So I switched benches swearing it was a faulty contraption and not my inability to stabilize myself. I still thought it was quite humorous and for whatever reason he did not.
That was our last workout together, not because I fell on my ass but because it was our last session. It was a shame I enjoyed working out with him.
The lesson to be learned here: learn to laugh at yourself. It makes life way more interesting.
(Oh and FYI, there were a couple bolts missing from that bench, it was, in fact faulty equipment.)